Taking the Worry Out of Long Distance Caregiving
Posted by Lauren Batalka on Fri, Sep 09, 2011
We often have clients who have adult children living in different a state, making care difficult. Long distance caregivers are defined as caregivers who provide care for a loved one who lives more than an hour away. A growing number of adult children are discovering just how hard it is to try to ensure the welfare of aging parents who live hundreds, sometimes thousands, of miles away. We’re here to take some of the worry out of long distance caregiving. Here are some helpful tips for long distance caregivers:
Organize Yourself
Most people who live away from their aging parents are able to make a few visits each year. During your visits remember to:
Keep a journal and make a list of the following important information:
Medical
- Medical records.
- Notes on their condition.
- A list of medications they take.
- Names and phone numbers of all doctors.
- Name and phone number of their pharmacy.
Insurance
- A list of insurance policies, the carriers and account numbers.
Utilities
- Company names and phone numbers for all utilities, including electric, phone, cable and Internet.
Financial
- A list of all assets and debts (include dollar values).
- Yearly or monthly income.
- Yearly or monthly expenses.
- A statement of net worth.
- Information on bank accounts, other financial holdings and credit cards.
Legal
- Relevant legal documents your loved one has or wants to create (i.e. wills, advance directives, trusts, powers of attorney).
- Location of important documents (i.e. birth certificates, deed to home).
- Social Security numbers.
*It’s a good idea to make a copy of your list and give it to a trusted relative or friend who lives near your loved one.
Make sure that you discuss and understand your loved one’s wishes about legal and financial matters. Be sure to have a copy of all important documents. It’s a wise idea to give a copy to the physician and a friend or neighbor. Have a copy at your loved one’s house in an easily accessible place.
- Will - the elder decides how to disperse assets after death
- Power of attorney - gives a caregiver the authority to act on behalf of the older person
- Trust: estate-planning document allows the elder to transfer assets and avoid probate and other legal problems
- Joint ownership: makes it easier to gain access to the elder's finances
- Representative payee: A caregiver receives government checks for an older person unable to manage money
- Medigap insurance: pays portion of medical bills not covered by Medicare
During visits
You may live far away from your loved one, but hopefully you will have opportunities for visits throughout the year. During your visits, be sure to:
- Schedule appointments. If possible, attend appointments during your visit.
- Go through prescriptions to make sure nothing is expired and they are being taken properly.
- Refill prescriptions.
- Look in the refrigerator and pantry for expired food. Make sure your loved one is eating properly.
- Make a list of household items that need to be repaired or replaced. If possible, buy or fix the items during your visit.
- Look for safety hazards such as loose rugs, loose handrails, and poor lighting.
You may start to realize that more help is needed on a regular basis. Think about your parent’s daily needs and whether they are still being adequately met. Are they:
- Socializing with friends and other relatives?
- Attending religious services or other regular events?
- Keeping up with chores or housekeeping?
- Maintaining their personal appearance and hygiene?
- Eating well with a variety of foods in the house?
- Opening and responding to correspondence from insurers, banks or others?
- Paying bills and balancing the checkbook?
- Scheduling and getting to doctor appointments or other important visits?
- Getting out to the store or recreational activities?
- Maintaining the home?
- Taking medication as directed?
If you find that your loved one needs more help, look into bringing in outside help, such as a caregiving agency. You can find more information HERE .